Isn’t Everyone a Little Bit…

I am often asked some variation of the question “Isn’t everyone a little bit (Autistic, ADHD, etc.)?” And the answer is yes. And no. Let me explain.

Everyone has different levels of the traits or characteristics of any number of neurotypes. Not only ADHD and Autism, but also depression and anxiety and even moments of “mania.” These characteristics, traits, or symptoms are varied elements of human existence. We all have moments of feeling anxious, or depressed, or have difficulty concentrating, or even may have moments in which we feel socially awkward or have difficulty making eye contact. AND, while these are some of the traits and characteristics used to make a clinical diagnosis, there is more to a diagnosis than experiencing a specific trait.

A diagnosis requires a level of “clinical impairment.” This means that those traits or characteristics are intense or severe enough for the individual that they interfere with functioning in day-to-day life, whether at school, work, or in their relationships. We all have moments of anxiety, whether it is before a presentation, test, or even when we open a bill. Some level of anxiety, or depression, are normal. They are part of what makes us human. However, for those with these specific neurotypes or mental health conditions, their experience of anxiety or inattention impairs their ability to function in the world as others do. It impairs their ability to exist in a world that was not created with their needs in mind.

Many think that my last statement is an exaggeration, however, the world is created by and for neurotypical individuals. It is not made for those whom are neurodivergent- whether they are trying to succeed in an academic setting while being unable to focus on required readings, or making a presentation in front of a class or colleagues while suffering from debilitating anxiety. Life is not easy for neurodivergent people. Relationships are not easy. It’s not about being able to “suck it up.” It’s about not having the same access to education, or occupations, as neurotypical peers. It’s about not being able to connect with an interviewer for your dream job because you have Autism and/or anxiety, therefore it is offered to someone that is considered a “better fit.” I have seen this happen time and time again, and this is only a small fraction of what is experienced by neurodivergent peoples.

Yes, we all experience the traits of ADHD or Autism or other neurotypes, however, by saying we are all a “little bit autistic/ADHD/[insert neurotype here]” invalidates someone’s lived experience in a world not created for them. It minimizes the hardships they face day-to-day with elements of their anxiety that make it painful to access aspects of living that others take for granted. It can diminish the validity of their often difficult-to-obtain diagnosis. Best case scenario, it may be a well-meaning remark in an effort to show empathy and understanding. However, it can be damaging to those struggling to access basic accommodations and understanding in their world.

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Awareness vs. Acceptance: What’s the Difference?